When Life Slows Down

I never dreamed when my children were little that I would ever have time for myself. Even going to the bathroom in peace was a luxury. Forget an uninterrupted meal, shower or sleep. Small versions of us filled up every space and every minute of our home. And it was glorious most of the time. I loved being needed and adored by these little ones. My house was crazy and I loved every minute of it!

Before having my children, I believed my life was busy. I worked, dated, went out with friends, spent entire days shopping, read tons of books, worked out at the gym. My life was FULL! I met my husband and spent all my free time with him. In our first year of marriage we were blessed with our son and nephew who now shared our home. Our daughter was born 5 years later and our lives were never the same. Consumed with their daily needs, school, t-ball and soccer, 4H, ballet, church, play groups, art classes! Now I knew what busy looked like! I ran from sun up to sun down and was up multiple times a night. I was fueled with coffee and adrenaline. And it never seemed to slow down.

Until it did. Kids graduated and got jobs or moved out. Sports and clubs slowed down. We got rid of farm animals or they passed on. Driver’s licenses were issued and they began making plans with friends. Our evenings and weekends became quieter. Responsibilities were taken over by these emerging adults.

I shower for as long as I want. No one bangs on the door of the bathroom. I sit and leisurely eat my dinner while flipping through the latest issue of Country Living magazine. I go to meditation and book club. I meet friends for dinner and drinks. I have time to exercise and the only interruptions are the dogs licking my face while I’m doing planks. I can talk to my husband without someone jumping on the couch between us.

For the first time in 20 years, I can sit and ponder my plans for the weekend and they don’t involve standing on the sidelines of a soccer field in the pouring rain. Now, I know that many mothers are heartbroken at the thought of not being needed. I am sometimes. When I make too much lasagna and only my husband and I are home to eat it. As I pack it away in the fridge I know that it will be devoured sometime in the next 48 hours while they're passing through.

Honestly, I love taking care of myself. I’m rediscovering books I loved. I forgot how good fueling my body with physical activity felt! My energy level is through the roof! My friends are amazing and fun. Lounging over coffee with no demands allows me to be fully present with them. And the restaurants in town that I have discovered like hidden gems! They have cloth napkins and no one is crying under the table. I’m writing again and practicing meditation. I’ve began studying Reiki. I’ve even compiled a bucket list. There are so many things I want to do over the next 40 years! Many wonderful adventures to be had and experiences to enjoy! I'd love to attend more baseball games and see my beloved Red Sox play the Yankees at Fenway. Write a book or perform in a show. Volunteer to help breastfeeding families in Africa or in Greece. Explore castles in Scotland and Wales. Become more fluent in Spanish and travel to South America. A whole lifetime to be had!

How are other parents of teenagers and young adults filling their time? Are you actively pursuing things that feed your spirit? Do you want to? Are you ready for an adventure?